In light of the disappointing ratings for the 2006 World Series, Major League Baseball is reviewing a plan that would see the best team in the American League play the New York Yankees, and the best team in the National League play the New York Yankees, and then each team play the Boston Red Sox, and then have the Boston Red Sox play the New York Yankees and…

Oh wait, they didn’t? Well it’s not like anyone outside of Detroit and St. Louis is going to notice the mistake. Also, Yankees and Red Sox still not playing.

Teams’ coaches are appalled and point out that this type of behavior has no place on the field and that players should save this for house parties and night clubs like professionals.

Baseball gears up for awesome possibility of Cardinals/Tigers World Series matchup, and the complete financial collapse of the MLB that’s expected to accompany it.

I can’t believe I got all the way through writing this article without making a ‘rim job’ joke.

Damn.

A Toronto Maple Leafs story that does not mention Tie Domi. No, really!

What’s another angle we can take to get some more legs out of this Corey Lidle sotry? Oh, I know - let’s randomly ask every athlete with a pilot’s license if this is going to make them give up flying!

With Leyland’s admission, all eyes now turn suspiciously toward Tony LaRussa.

Well, on the positive side for Lidle, this is probably the first time he’s ever been on a list that included Roberto Clemente…

It’s sort of like the scene in the movie “Invincible” where Vince Papale plays pick-up games of football with his friends, except after the game, instead of winning a spot with the Philladelphia Eagles imagine that he drives his car onto the field and tries to run over the other team.

McGrady says decapitation a big cause of back problems last year.

Jeff Van Gundy begins lashing out early in preparation for another season - blames Yao’s injury on shoes, McGrady’s back injury on uneccessarily hard hardwood floors.

The Indiana Pacers new image makeover plan:
Step 1 - Stop beating up fans of other teams.
Step 2 - Introduce new ad campaign and snappy slogan

…oh yeah, and ask the players to try to avoid getting arrested in incidents that involve them publicly kicking handicapped people.

If you can tell me what Kuala Lumpur and Tuomo Ruutu have in common, besides names that can make you laugh, it’s time to trim some channels from your cable package.

My prediction: Sometime in December Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury decides to kill all his defencemen. The case is dismissed when no evidence can be found to prove that Pittsburgh had any defencemen.

Debeque High School anticipates best ever showing in X-Box games. In other news, the football team has been disbanded due to lack of players.

It’s like when your brother-in-law just can’t take the hint that the party’s over and keeps insisting that it’s time for a beer run or a trip to Vegas…

Man if your football team is getting beaten by a school with a name like Whittemore-Prescott, it’s probably not a bad idea to cancel the season. In a related story, the Oakland Raiders are considering this strategy.

Apparently the Yankees haven’t done that well in the post-season lately: Oh hey look - ESPN has a list!

Man if I had a dime for every time I’ve had to pull my gun and fire some warning shots after getting punched in the face and run over with a car while leaving a strip club…