“All over the internet we were seeing Derek Jeter’s name appearing with phrases such as ‘Four rings’, ‘leadership’, ‘clutch’ and ‘317 lifetime average’ - we started seeing these groupings of words appearing millions of times over the last 2 weeks and naturally assumed it was a virus.”

“Suddenly the comments section started filling up with hundreds of people saying how Derek Jeter has four World Series rings, and how he’s a leader and he can clutch. After an hour my site wouldn’t even load anymore.”

I want to give this post an Oscar season movie reference, but I’m torn between “There will be blood” and “Elisabeth: The Golden Age”

No gift basket for the beleaguered Maple Leafs this year….

I think the New York Islanders are trying to make a name for themselves as the team to go with when you’re looking for job security

Sports Illustrated thinks a lot of the 1988 trade in which the Boston Bruins sent Geoff Courtnall and Bill Ranford to the Oilers for Andy Moog, and by “think a lot of” I mean that they think two completely different things about it.

“Johnny sets the tone - when he played like crap we all played like crap. When he was mediocre in the second half…”

Leafs pull within 7 points of a playoff berth, 4 points from last in the league

Ranking the 29 MLB teams and the Florida Marlins.

Frank Coonley says he wants to win right away - is expected to get some resistance on this from rest of NL

Elsewhere, Dusty “I don’t like guys clogging up the bases” Baker continues to get paid to allegedly manage a baseball team…

Roger Clemens legal team issues more details of the evil plot masterminded by Clemens’ identical twin brother to frame their client

The Rocket sets the record straight.

Canseco has apparently found a way to cover the investment dollars he was counting on getting from Magglio Ordonez

Latrell Sprewell explains “the guy never told me about the downside to taking one of those sub-prime mortgages.”

The list of Toronto Maple Leafs forwards with separated shoulders grows as players begin to see a new downside to having hands of stone.

Montreal Canadiens listen to their fans - begin reviewing options to trade Ryder, Begin, Smolinski, Dandenault and Brisebois for stay-at-home, defensive-minded goalposts.

Ottawa hints that Redden should be careful not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Redden responds “But I’m not leaving”

I can’t believe a sports journalist had the willpower to write a story about Rick Tocchet rejoining the Coyotes and not title it something like “Gretzky gambles on Rick Tocchet again”… oh what the hell - I’ll do it for him.

Anaheim and New Jersey attempt to settle the question of which post-season contender truly has the worst offense - Devils present the stronger case. San Jose begs to differ…