Frank Coonley says Pirates in “win now” mode

Admittedly playing in the NL these days would offer a decent college team a shot at the pennant, but does anyone really think the Pirates could beat a decent college team?

Asked how he expects to begin ‘winning now’ when the Pirates have made no moves during the off season and have numerous glaring problems, new team CEO Frank Coonley dramatically waved his hands and said “Like this!”

Coonley then stood perfectly still and did nothing until, after 10 minutes of awkward silence, the reporters began to disperse.