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The Montreal Canadiens begin off-season plans to add an 18 foot tall 600 pound forward to their roster…
Montreal Canadiens forwards Alex Tanguay, Max Pacioretty and Sergei Kostitsyn will all undergo surgery this summer.
The plan is to have them all sewn together in the hope of creating the big, hard-edged winger with a scoring touch Montreal has needed for the past 20 years.
“We’re willing to concede that grittiness and toughness is a dimension we have been lacking as a team and we’re now taking steps to address the situation. The goal here is to add more physical edge - a bit of that hard-nosed element in the corners and in front of the net - without giving anything up in the goal-scoring, offense part of the game.” explained Canadiens GM Bob Gainey from his summer home in Limbo, “It’s our hope that these three talented players can be combined into one 18-foot tall, 600 pound power forward that can add an element of intimidation to our lineup.”
If the surgery is successful team doctors next plan to look at replacing Alex Kovalev’s artificial heart.